On the plus side, I'm finally crossing into the not plus size side! It is so liberating to be able to go into a regular store and have so many more options. Y'all, I went to Gap Outlet on Thursday and things were too big! And for all you tiny people who say that Gap and Loft run big and you can always size down there... good for you, I've never experienced that so keep that thought to yourself and let me have my moment of glory! I'm really starting to like what I see in the mirror. My legs look better than I think they ever have. My arms need alot of work as there is alot of extra skin and jiggle going on there, but they are smaller than they have been and I no longer feel like they have to be covered. I went out in sleeveless dresses and tanks a few times over the past couple weeks!
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| Look at my arm!!! I have an arm and a shoulder... I'm starting to see definition! YAY! |
I just finished up my daily courses for my diagnostician certification and my probationary certificate is on my certification record! I'm so excited! I was offered a position in Denton ISD and I proudly accepted it. It is a little farther away than I would have liked. However, I had 5 interviews and my mom asked me, if geography wasn't an issue, which one would I want? Without hesitation, I said I would want Denton. It was one of those times where everything just felt right. I liked the people, I liked what they had to say, I like the support they give their diags. I will miss Keller Middle, but really feel like I am going to the right place at the right time for me. For now, Gibson and I will make the trek to Denton daily. I'm currently looking into daycare for him. I found one place I think will be good, but not knowing where I will be makes it hard to know where will be a good fit for us.
How do you all decide where to live and when to make a move? I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Irving. I hated it until we moved away when I was 16 and moving Gibson here just 3 years ago felt so right at the time. I had been teaching in Irving for 2 years commuting from Dallas and it that drive was killing me and I really thought I would be in Irving for a long time. Then that changed and I started to really consider what it is that I thought I liked about Irving and started realizing that many of the reasons I did were no longer valid. This isn't the Irving I grew up in. I can no longer go somewhere and usually run into someone I know. They have moved on. It was always a bigger city, but to me it still had that small town feel. I don't get that anymore. The schools were never great, but now that I'm no longer working here, I have less say in where Gibson would go to school and due to transfer rules and other teachers leaving the district, my options for putting him in a place where I know someone who could watch out for him for me are limited at best. We have tried a couple churches, but nothing makes me want to come back the next week. I need to try more consistently to find one that is a good fit for us, but I don't even know where to begin. I do not like large contemporary churches. I like traditional services which doesn't tend to be popular in my age range or others with small children. I need to get Gibson involved because I feel like he is missing out and I am to blame for that. I don't want my hang ups to hold him back. My parents own my home so I have essentially paid the mortgage, insurance and taxes on this home for the past three years, but at no profit for them. I'd like to keep my payment the same which means we will need to downsize if we do decide to move. And that's another thing... I really do love this house. I love the layout, the room sizes, the yard. It is perfect for us. I love the kitchen and how it lends itself to entertaining which I would love to do, but I don't because I do not have any friends or family who want to come to south Irving. How do you know if a town is right if you haven't ever really spent time there. I applied in Denton because I knew it was a smaller but growing community that has all the conveniences of being in the metroplex, but is just far enough away to be its own spot. Its about the same size as Sherman, but isn't Sherman. But it is closer to Sherman than where we are now. I have driven around twice since my interview, one Sunday afternoon while Gibson napped in the backseat while it was raining and once with my mom and Gibson just to get my bearings on where things were located and which neighborhoods we might want to check out (or stay away from). Then there is the question of timing. When do we take the plunge if we do? Should we commute back and forth for a couple months? Do we wait a year and see what happens? My concern with that is that we still do not fit in anywhere. We are essentially homeless because we are only in our home long enough to sleep and not in the place where I work long enough to establish relationships with other people. We are in limbo. I know these are decisions I have to make, but these are the things that are running through my head every night until 2 or 3 when my body finally just shuts down from exhaustion. There are so many things I want to find for us.
My goals for our little family of 2:
#1 Find a church home where he can have a great group of youth to grow up with like I had.
#2 I want to find good friends and have real relationships with other people. I want to do a supper club or have a girls night. I want to entertain in our home, have game night.
#3 I want Gibson to get involved in things and not be so involved with just me and Nana. Seriously, he's 4. He should have friends and he doesn't and that breaks my heart.
If anyone has any bright ideas on how I even begin to accomplish these goals for us... please let me know because this has become my internal struggle and I am stuck. I do not know where to begin or where to look for help.
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