One of the worst things to experience as a parent is seeing the worst part of your personality in your child. Gibson's is my child. He is stubborn, headstrong, fiercely independent and yet craves love and affection. He comes by it honestly. The hardest part of this surgery is realizing that my fears that led to so many self sabotaged on weight loss journeys past were founded in certain truths about myself that I'm not quite sure how to deal with or handle. Being bigger, I could blame it on the weight, now I don't have that to hide behind and the pain and fear is still here and very real. And I'm passing it to Gibson. It has to stop now. I will not let my child grow up without friends. I won't let him alienate himself to mask his insecurities. I will learn to make friends and to love myself so that he will learn these things. He will see a strong, whole woman and become a strong, whole man. I will be a role model for him. I just have to figure out where to begin....
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